Why We Have To Disappear Sometimes

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This blog…AHHHHH. I so badly want to be faithfully in keep track of our memories here, but most days I just have to live into what is going on in the day to day, rather then stress about remembering or recording it. Currently, I can’t do all our laundry, feed anyone any food on real dishes, brush my hair, make my bed, or clean up food under the highchair. So… if by chance there is some golden, extra time I will immediately fall into a deep 2 minute coma only to be awaken by someone diarrheaing into their boots and all over the playset. Free time is cursed for mothers. If there is quiet time there is probably some disaster lurking right around the corner.

Actually, I used to have free time when there were two kiddos and they laid down for naps and it was such a nice break. Now,  that world is long gone and these busy 6-9 year olds have serious NEEDS during quiet time (snacks, you tube research, school, chores, hobbies, nail painting, fire building and more snacks). Life continues to change and it is a struggle to change with it when you lose more of “you” time and do more “them” time. We must disappear for some seasons into our families to do the praying and ministering that is needed and we can’t always emerge for a good long while. After a baby I have to disappear, after a bad sickness or a child who struggles with lots of obedience or learning issues. I get worn down and sick and physically can’t do the things I used to be able to.  I used to struggle with that. There was so much I wanted to do outside of my home. There was so much I wanted to inside my home that couldn’t get done. I have learned to welcome the season of rest and hibernation. I am learning that motherhood has a lot of that. I am naturally a doer. I measure my worth on what I can accomplish off my to-do list. God has freed me from that by taking me through season of not being able to accomplish anything off my to-do list. Now I know it is not about what things I accomplish in the day, but how I have loved that day.

So…I have to take what I can get in the memories department… two years behind in the photo books (I don’t know if JohnLuke will ever get a baby book), a year absent from a blog and getting farther behind by the moment. I will choose to be joyful that we are living the day that we have right now.

Here is us… in our “disappearing days”:

It all started with this little guy. Seriously..take a good long look at the look on my face. That is not the face of pure joy...more like "I want to kill someone." My poor, sweet, blessed husband.

Yay...He came and we were both alive and healthy! Another miracle.

 Okay...this is what happens when you have six kids. You start taking name suggestions and casting lots. You just about got "Jason Bourne Bartlett" buddy, thanks to Aunt Julia and Uncle David stopping in after their movie date.

Our growing tribe celebrating our favorite season of Jesus' birth.

Dad keeps sharing his hobby with these boys so they will grow up and become his 4 man team.

We had a brief lapse of resolve in parenting and said yes to a snake...

 and a guinea pig. I liked the snake until he escaped and lived in our basement until we found him two months later. I always hated the guinea pig and dreamed at night of creative ways to "let him go to a better place".

 We went on vacation with the Rivera's to FLORIDA. It was AMAZING. I dream of going back...every day.

This girl started doing this...

so we got these. Now she is even cuter! I didn't even think it was possible.

This is why we had to go on vacation somewhere warm...to escape the strep throat epidemic. 

I escaped to Arizona with only two girls and a sister and told Justin I was never coming back. He got a little nervous when our return flight got cancelled.  It was the Lord, knowing I needed just one more day.

 This little boy spent the last year being snuggled...

 and snuggled

and snuggled

 and snuggled 

and one more snuggle just in case he didn't feel loved enough.

We kept our Easter traditions alive even though it seemed like there wasn't an extra minute in each day.

We had friends over and taught them our mad chess skills.

We got to welcome the newest cousin all the way from China. We left at midnight to meet him at the airport. One of the highlights of our lives.

Dad hit the slopes with these two. Olympics here we come!

The keep getting older and it becomes more of a joy to be a parent to them. Spencer turned nine and Jack turned eight. We celebrated with an epic Nerf battle and the parents celebrated by sitting.

Where I can be found most moments of the days... with all my littles snuggled around me.

To Mom...for Mother's Day

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A mom can look different to so many people...but like my sister Julia used to say to me... "Mine is the best." What makes a great mom? I want to know because I would like to be one. I want my kids to have a great mom. Why is my mom so amazing and how do I grow up to be just like her?

This is what I have learned from my mom:

Selflessness. My mom is the least selfish person I know. She doesn't have any hobbies except being available to people who need her. You won't catch her having some "much needed me-time". If she can help you she will and most times she will find a way to make your needs her number one priority. I don't know how she pays her bills or cleans her house because she is always busy feeding other people and cleaning other people’s houses. Do I really want to be a great mom? Then it is time I stop worrying about myself. I will give that job to God and start listening to what someone else around me might need.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Righteousness. My mom is like Christ. If you pop in at the right time she will most likely have a new "revelation" to share with you. Something God is teaching her and she can't help but let you in on the beauty of it. It makes her radiantly beautiful. Do I want to be a great mom? I need to have Christ spilling over from my heart and constantly be telling others little, beautiful truths of God's word.

Romans 3:22 This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.

She is a HARD worker. She modeled the idea of "spending yourself on behalf of someone else." She gave all her energy to her home, her meals, her laundry, her church, her husband, her prayers. I watched her stop in the middle of a haircut to stitch someone up at our dining room table and then start dinner without pausing.  The Lord blessed the work of her hands and she is a gourmet cook, a spotless cleaner, a medical dictionary, a church volunteer warrior, a loyal friend, and someone who shakes the heavens with her prayers. Do I want to be a great mom? Am I ready to work hard? Am I ready to spend myself for the cause of Christ? Will I work HARD for it?

Proverbs 31:17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

Eternity-minded. This world is not her home. She doesn't desire anything in it, except maybe an unlimited amount of money to spend at the grocery store, to feed the masses that frequent her house. She is constantly reminding others, "this life is temporary." She doesn't desire the latest fashions or busy herself with things that will not matter for eternity. Do I want to be a great mom? Am I ready to lose the grip on this world? Am I ready to have nothing because I can't take it with me anyway?

Job 1:21 He said "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Goodness. She brings goodness wherever she goes. People trust her because she has a long history of goodness. She does not harm others with her words or her actions and she helps other people to not do the same. I know she will bring a peacefulness and a joy when she is around...and it makes me want to be around her a much as I can.

Proverbs 31:12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Our personal family hair stylist

 Carving out a week of her life to come help me with a new baby. She is about to do this for the 33^rd time with my baby in July!

 Saddling up a horse for my kids…any time!

         Just being beautiful… and making amazing birthday cakes for my kids 

You are one amazing lady if this is your fan club (made up exclusively of                                                   your grandkids)!

School Is Out For The Summer!

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April 30th and all the school books are done! You know that feeling you got on the last day of school as a kid? I never thought I would experience it again, but I do every year when those books are shut. It is that feeling of "NOW WE CAN PARRRRTEEEE."

That is what we did today. We took a minute to celebrate these little ones and their commitment to hard work. This year they took books in vans, planes, swing sets and doctor’s offices. They went on field trips, served their community and still got all their work done.

A trip to the library where the boys got their own library cards, lunch at Taco Bell, a certificate and some spending money for a toy was enough excitement to last us a while. We also got a celebrity visit from the principal/guidance counselor/dance instructor/main financial donor/dad! It was a kick off to a summer of fun that awaits.

Here are a few of our 2015-2016 school year highlights from this school year:

1. The boys earned a pet for having 30 school days without "grumbling or complaining (Phil 2:14)". The snake and the guinea pig are still alive! Their room smells like animal feces and is covered in hay, but love is in the air!

2. We attended Hope Homeschool's "Enrichment Days" and the kids took Karate, Kickboxing, Piano, wrote letters, built cars and contraptions. We were definitely... enriched!

3. We packed backpacks at church for kids at our local school so kids could have lunches and dinners on the weekends. The opportunity to serve others was a blessing for our family. We had lots of beautiful talks about those who don't have as much, are role in that as Christians, and dying to ourselves and serving.

4. We memorized Romans 12. There is really nothing as powerful as hearing your children recite a whole chapter in the bible. I still am amazed that a five-year-old can know a whole chapter in the bible. It has motivated me to expect great things from these little ones and never quit challenging them!

5. We hung with friends a lot of days. Mom got to have coffee with neighbors and school got done before or afterwards. We read at night or got up early and we loved our schedule on very scheduled days and loved the flexibility on other days.

6. The boys finished 2nd grade and Abigail finished her kindergarten. We are going to have 3rd graders and a first grader next year! Oh my...where is the time going. 

This homeschooling gig is very stressful some days. If you lived at our house, you would know we have a long way to go in achieving the "righteousness of Christ". Kids get sick, learners get frustrated...mom gets frustrated! It is never quiet here, I can't make a doctor’s appointment for myself to save my life, poop and times tables go hand and hand. By God's grace, our greatest victories happen in light of those hard days. Sassy and selfish kids are learning to love their siblings and patiently help and teach them, we are cherishing this season of family time together and remembering that days with no kiddos are right around the corner. We are working out our salvation together as we work through hard things and tough questions together. One of the biggest blessings is that we have TIME. We have time to talk, to snuggle, to read, to discipline. We had to get out the door some days and that can be stressful and hard, but we do it. Other days we stay home... sometimes for days and days. There is a slowness that gives peace and calmness to our days.

A few life giving verses for our year:
"For human help is worthless. With God we will gain the victory." Psalm 60:11-12

"Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 61:8

"Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality." Romans 12:13

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:17-18

Thank you Jesus for another successful year!

Our Year

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I need look back at my blog so I can actually remember what we did in 2015. It leaves me feeling so successful and optimistic that I should make it a daily habit. I can't believe we actually went camping 3 times. How did pack and unpack and clean that camper 3 times? I must be super-human. See...thoughts like those are what I need to have circulating through my mind repeatedly.

Here is what I feel like happened (in my negative/sinful nature self) in 2015:

- I got fatter and pregnant (yes, that is a pregnancy announcement). Yes, I know how it happened. No, we don’t need any new hobbies. We like that hobby ALOT! (Yes, people actually say these things to me).

- We were VERY busy and didn't spend enough time together as a family.

- I didn't have as much self-discipline, joy and faith as I long to have.

- My house was trashed, we lived in filth and I didn't get a cleaning lady in the budget (obviously).

- I was too tired and crabby and I wished I had more energy and was illuminated with a saintly glow.

That is the Devil and how he comes to steal, kill and destroy. That is not the truth. As I look back at this year in pictures I realized the year was filled with JOY. We had fun and some amazing memories. We spent great time together. We smiled and laughed ALOT. We learned and grew in our faith even if we aren't perfect. We challenged each other and ourselves to love God and others better. We had a lot of victories and yes...some struggles too.

Here is what actually happened in 2015 and I am amazed. Only in Christ could we have survived and accomplished all this:

 I helped the kids make these crazy things even though there was a million small beads and I had a million other things to do. 

 We built forts and made messes. 

I shared a birthday with my favorite twin... "sweetness" as she has been named by her siblings.

We actually made it out of the house with all five kiddos to bowl. 

I wrapped big kids up like babies and took pictures of them while they fake cried. I didn’t say no all the time.

We made it through FIRST GRADE and onto second grade and another one into Kindergarten.

Abba got to take a dance class and she was beautiful and sweet and so much fun to watch.

Kids loved each other and fought over who could hold and snuggle the baby.

We had birthday parties and the kids loved it and I didn't die from exhaustion.

We went drove to Chicago, went to Legoland, had a picnic, sweated more then publicly appropriate, found $200 on our son (whoops... had to have a conversation about the money on the counter and how it wasn't his!).

We went to the rodeo and got dirty with cousins and friends. Justin showed of his mad athletic skills. I mastered my tick removing skills.

It is hard to believe this happened...and easy to remember how hard we laughed. 7 couples, 15 kids and a completed... FIRST EVER "Most Amazing Couple" tournament. 

This guy...just made each day...each moment... A PARTY!

The boys were in a play directed their famous Aunt Maria and chosen for some very intense and moving roles.

The garden was fruitful and NOT as overtaken with weeds as I remember.

 We camped and visited with good friends. We roasted too many smores. We learned acorns explode when submerged in a fire. We played board games, colored, got clothes and bedding dirtier then I ever thought possible, and enjoyed being together.

We got to go on a boat whenever we wanted and enjoy a beautiful Michigan summer. I even tubed with my sister and lived to tell about it. I am not as old and feeble as I think.  .

This dirty little cutie turned 3 and got sweeter and more irreplaceable each moment.

There were many occasions Justin thought he might have a heart attack, but then took one for the team, rallied and came back from it. We all survived the walk out to the pier Honey!

Nana helped us make caramel apples.

The kids and I raked and blew our whole lawn in one week. They were  leaf-blowing machines. I am going to keep all those hard workers. It was like a mini lawn care business...with less pay and more treats.

The boys wanted to sleep together and it melted my heart. I made Justin come look and we stared lovingly at them. It wasn't weird...

We had ninja battles and tea parties with friends. 

Justin cut our tree down without a shirt on... oh yeah! We loved the warm weather, the sexy man and the cute helpers!

Christmas was a success! We snuggled and ate and slept in and loved on each other.

Mom Thought: Thank you Lord for your gentle reminders. We continue on in this race only by your grace. I AM a failure without you. With your grace and blessings there are many moments of joy. Help me to remember!