The Window Lie

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How many moms out there are REALLY washing their windows? I thought EVERYONE was...except me. I had a legitimate excuse too. I couldn't open my windows...or get those 100 year old storm windows off... so what was the point? I really didn't even notice that there was a stink bug that had been dead for two years in my direct line to the sandbox. I was blissful, despite dirty windows. I really didn't care. BUT... I knew if I wanted to be MATURE and reach my full potential in motherhood I would have to clean my windows twice a year like my mother taught me and did our whole life. JUST BECAUSE...that is what all good keepers of a home do…right?

                                                                                                               

NO. FALSE. LIES. All of it.

I got new windows...those old 60's windows were long gone. New beautiful windows that slid like butter, and actually locked, moved in. I got a slow start on my window cleaning and decided to wait a full year... you know, to give the windows time to settle in...to be happy and comfortable.

Yesterday, I had no kids for a day and was in full, panic, spring/fall cleaning, throwing everything away that crossed my path mode. As I drank my first cup of coffee I planned my day.

I wrote:

2:30-3:30 Windows

There, that should get me a good chunk done and one be on merry way.

WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, as I grabbed my bucket and step stool and paper towel and Windex and trotted outside... I realized, quickly, I didn't know how to get my screens off. 30 minutes on YouTube and those babies slid right out. My husband hadn’t played a cruel trick on me as I suspected. Whoa... TIME IS A WASTING. Now to get to the real work.

TWO AND A HALF HOURS and a little egg sack of spider babies in my tank top LATER... I HAD 4 WINDOWS done. I wanted to cry and curse my mother at the same time. How is ANYONE expected to maintain this level of cleanliness, especially when I don't even notice the dead bird mark on the window unless I am 1 inch from it? WHY, WHY, WHY DO smart people do this?

I called my mother. I told her I have disbanded from her army. I no longer follow her without question and in naive bliss. Somewhere along the line she drank some blue juice her Dutch mother gave her and she never quite came back. I am afraid if I stick close to her now I might hear something like, "if you don't curl your hair every day you are not going to heaven, Honey." Yup...straight up craziness coming from her mouth.

If my husband becomes a stay at home dad, or all these kiddos go off to school, or I hire a full time nanny/cleaning lady we will go back to the drawing board on the windows. Until then... this is PURE GOSPEL: 

If a window gets washed in this house we will treat it like a miracle has occurred and praise Jesus for his unimaginable ways!

MOM THOUGHT: We can’t do it all ladies. Pick you battles!