My Love/Hate Relationship With Not Being Able To Do It All

Pin It By the end of each day I fall into bed thinking I can't do this. I can't even take care of my own kids for a whole day. I can't keep my eye on all of them, I can't keep the peace and a consistent amount of discipline.

This house is in survival mode most days. 

As I was washing the floor today (a reviling in the sheer miracle it was that I was accomplishing this task) I started to think about how good it was for me to not be able handle four kids with out a lot of help and prayer.

If I didn't have four kids, four years and under, I wouldn't really need my mom's help, but I REALLY NEED MY MOMS HELP. I can appreciate her with such gratitude that her week here will be forever imprinted on my mind.

If we didn't have four little ones, I wouldn't need my husband to step in like he has. Before Hannah I could do the kids by myself. If he wanted to take one or two with him for a ride or to work on something it was a nice break, but now he must have a child connected to him at all times. If he is working outside, they are working outside. If he is going to town, a child is going to town with him. He puts them to bed, brushes teeth, changes diapers, and disciplines when he walks through that door. I could do all those things before, but now that I can't I am loving the extra help.

If I didn't have four LITTLE kids, it wouldn't be that big of a deal if they were unruly and wild, but four unruly, wild kids is not going to happen in this house. The large family mentality is a beautiful thing. Where I might let things slide for one or two kids, I won't with four. It is a built in accountability child training. I take one or two children with me everywhere I go now too. To the doctor's, grocery store, and a million other errands. A few mom and son visits to the chiropractor is great practice for sitting quietly and playing. The store rules are easy to instill in one child at a time so when I do need to take them all they should have their correct store behavior down pat.

So... I hate that life is changing and the things I used to be able to simply do (wash the floor) I can't do anymore, but I love that it is forcing me to be creative (now Abigail sits on the couch for 20 minutes instead of doing it while she is sleeping) and be a better mom. Sometimes I am sad that I might never go to Wal-Mart alone again, but I am thankful I am not missing an opportunity to teach. I used to hate sitting around on a perfectly useful Saturday, but now I am blessed to watch four healthy kids play with their dad.

As our family grows it is amazing to see how God softens my personality and forms me into the women I need to be to reflect Christ to this home.